Driving Style

“Be kind whenever possible, it is always possible.”  - Dalai Lama

            A piece of paper with those words hangs on our refrigerator, peeking out behind other pictures and artwork that’s been hung over the years.

            That’s the motto I try to live by, but as long as I am still driving, I don’t think I can ever achieve that level of kindness.       

There’s something that happens when it comes to driving that I can’t help but think and act a little cruelly towards the other drivers. As if the barrier created by the cars is enough to let my true thoughts and actions show through. However, in my day-to-day life I give people the benefit of doubt. Yeah, they might have been a little curt, but we all have those days. I do my best to make other people’s lives a little easier so they can have a more enjoyable day. So, it's a bit odd to me that I can't do the same for driving. 

The beginning of my path down this rocky driving journey started with my dad. He was the driver I wanted to be. His stops were so smooth, he never looked stressed, and He always seemed to know what was best, including when it came to other drivers.

“Man, that guys wasting so much gas to get nowhere” he would always say when someone sped up just to get stopped at a red light. While most of the time I agreed with his comments and driving there were a few times when I was embarrassed to be in the car with him. He would intentionally slow down in front of someone because they were driving too fast or too close. One time he pulled out into the left lane to prevent a car from skipping the line in the right lane and driving all the way up to the merger sign before merging.

When I started driving, I began to adopt his way of driving, good and bad. I got the smooth stops down, but despite my times of embarrassment in the car with my dad, I also started to slow down when someone started riding on my bumper and make comments on other people’s driving. Not angry comments, but more like a comment one would make when they are looking down on someone. 

Why are they speeding, We’re in a neighborhood. Where does he think he’s going by weaving through all the cars? I always have something to say about the other drivers and 99 percent of the time it’s not a kind thing.

It wasn’t really until I drove with my mom that I noticed I did this. My mom is the opposite of me when driving. She doesn’t seem to care about the other drivers around her and when she is in the car while I’m driving, she’s like the angel on my shoulder steering me away from the rude comments.

“Maybe they are going to lose their job if they don’t make it on time today” she said after I commented on someone for speeding next to me.

“They’ve got to get to the hospital to deliver a baby” she said after I called someone a Jerk for weaving through the crowded traffic. 

Maybe, but if I don’t see them as a selfish jerk it makes it feels mean to make comments. I don’t want to be that driver that always has something to say, but I can’t help myself, it’s my Achillies heel. Even when I am intentional about not making rude comments the thoughts still pop into my head. I’ve gotten better about not voicing my thoughts or making faces, but as long as the thought is still there, I don’t feel like I can truly live up to the motto “be kind whenever possible. It is always possible”.

I feel like the essay is kind of all over the place (not as connected as it could be), so any suggestions would be amazing, Thanks!