Living Without my Phone

            I’ve entertained the idea of getting a flip phone. I glorify the stories my dad tells us about the days when he would entertain himself by playing basketball with his friends till dusk instead of scrolling through social media. Then I think of all the things that I would be missing if I didn’t have my phone. How would I take photos? Use Discord to text friends? look up something on the internet? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to make the switch.

With a flip phone, I would still have all the essential functions that come with a normal phone: texting and calling. However, I would gain hours of free time throughout the week that I’m no longer using to scroll on Instagram. It would also limit the number of distractions that pull me away from finishing homework and most importantly I couldn’t hide behind the screen when I’m around other people.

At my job as a lifeguard, we would get breaks every hour and a half or so. I despised these. I would take the longest path back and walk extra slowly to the break room just so I didn’t have to spend as much time there.

At the start of each break, there was hope. A hope that someone might start a conversation, so I didn’t have to spend my 20 minutes of break staring at my phone to entertain myself. However, the chances of this happening were slim. Sometimes I was lucky and got a break with my friends, but that only happened once in a blue moon. I tried a few times to start my own conversation, but my success rate was low. Most of the time it would be no more than a minute exchange before everyone was back on their phones. Dang phones. How different would it be if we couldn’t hide behind our screens? would we talk?

Anytime I took my phone out during the break, or any social setting for that matter, I felt like I was admitting defeat to my antisocial side. Instead of talking to someone, I’m going to pretend to have something important on my phone to do.

It’s just so much easier and more comfortable to stare at a screen than to converse with others. Especially after sitting and walking in the heat for an hour straight, all I wanted to do was take a nap once I got on break.

Of course, that’s no excuse to keep hiding behind it.

On my journey to diminish unnecessary use of my phone, I started bringing in a book to work. Although it still created a barrier from conversations with others, my guilt of hiding from social interactions lessened because I told myself I was doing something semi-valuable.

No matter how much I might want to separate myself from my phone I can’t bring myself to actually get rid of it. I’ve proven to myself that I can get through a day or two without it, but I always come back to it.

So, for now, I just keep doing the little things to minimize interactions with my phone throughout the day, like carrying around a book. My goal is still to someday in the future get rid of it entirely, but as of right now, it is still my social crutch, and it won’t be any time in the near future that I can see myself living without it.